A House in Order

I have been blessed to hear many amazing conference speakers at the North Carolina Home School conferences. Funny thing is, many of them are not talking about practical homeschooling methods but rather family discipleship. We have been learning about the power of God's Word and when we look at it from a family discipleship perspective His Word is RICH with wisdom and practical life skills. So, it is definitely "homeschooling" The messages I have received have been life changing. I only wish I had know this 30 years ago but I have peace in that the God of grace is so good that as he heals the blind, saves the wretched He covers us with His love and provision.

Here is a speaker we have heard and admired. His name is Voddie Baucham, he is a straight shooter that calls out to families all across the world to be strengthened by God's worldview rather then the politically correct, popular ideas of our current culture.

An unspeakable subject

I get wonderful home training lessons from Bible Study Fellowship and this weeks is reflecting the Woman at the Well. We read about a woman, born several years before Jesus probably around the year ... 10 or 20 BC; a real live woman who woke up every morning just like us. She was a woman who made all the wrong choices. She was brought up in a pagan society not having the truth, she did not have the basic wisdom available to us. Or maybe she just had a bad streak. Maybe she was oppositional and with her own stubborn self she did what she wanted and didn't care about the consequences. Who knows? But we do know she was now set apart from society. The others in her culture felt great disdain for her and as a result of being separated from the other women she chose to draw her water in the heat of the day.

Her life changed when she met Jesus. Even though Jesus was quite aware of her sin, He loved her. Because He did not let her sinful behavior restrict His love, He was able to help her.

In the same way the Lord Jesus loves us in spite of our sinful ways. We parents need to express the same unconditional love to our children so that we will be able to help them in their sinful nature. Loving our children because they are a precious creation of God rather then on their personal merits. 

Here is the unspeakable subject .. the unloving parent.
"Because individual human lives and human reactions can be so varied, it would be wrong to assume that every parent automatically has a deep love for his child. Perhaps for some reason you feel disappointment in a child in your family. This disappointment may be open and evident or you may think it is secretly hidden away. Rarely does this type of feeling remain a complete secret for long. Many adults have expressed these thoughts: I never knew why, and it was never just one incident of proof, but I always knew my parents were not totally accepting and proud of me. For as long as I can remember, it was evident that just did not like me.

There is benefit in evaluating any parental hesitancy toward loving a son or daughter. When recognized and given in honest confession to the Heavenly Father, inadequate love can be overcome and a change of heart can begin. The following are some questions that may help to expose resentment and a lack of love for a child.

1. Are you disappointed because your child is so plain or has a physical defect?

2. Have you rejected him, at times, because of what you consider to be his lack of appeal and charm or because he displays a character trait similar to some family member you do not admire? Or because he reflects a undesirable trait in yourself?

3. Do you think your child is not smart or is a slow learner?

4. Are you embarrassed by your child's hyperactivity or extreme shyness?

5. Was this child born out of wedlock, causing embarrassment to you and your family?

6. Do you resent the extra financial burdens this child causes the family?

7. Are you jealous because this child is more attracted to your spouses parents then to yours?

8. Do you love your child only when her or she obeys you or takes your advice?

Once exposed with honest thought and evaluation, these wrong attitudes can be rightly seen as the parent's problem rather then the child's. If this could be your situation, prayerfully confess your sin. Ask God to place in your heart His limitless love your your child. Then begin today to express in word, actions and attitudes of unconditional love for you child. Your obedience will be rewarded. Change can bring a new atmosphere to your home just as it did in the town where Jesus met the woman at the well. It may surprise you to sense the development of love that was previously missing. God will answer your prayer.

John 4:3-43

discipleship simplified

Philippians 4

 ¹Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends!...

 ⁴Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 ⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

As parents we teach this to our children. It's one of the rules of Holy living that the Lord has given us that we pass on to our children - I liked the catch at the end ... 

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.

 

That certainly puts it all into perspective. 

A principle that I wish I understood about 30 years ago was that the Lord our God is the Creator, not me.

Before I had Kimberly I had worked at a facility called the Children's Center in Salt Lake City. I loved it there. I loved it because they showed and expressed value to little children. In the culture I grew up, children were on a as needed or as wanted basis. The adults had their lives and when children came along we were to fit in best we could. I'm sure that has it's advantages like children learning they are not the center of the universe (I never told my kids the truth about that one). They probably learned to be independent and separate from their parents.
On the other hand, you don't develop much personal value when you are just a cog in the wheel, a bit of entertainment or one more thing to be taken care of. You are independent but at what cost? Here is my point. The Creator of the universe shows us a different way.

When we are loved by God, he knows us. He knows every hair on our head. We are not just a cog in the wheel or a thing to be taken care of and as a result
 we recieve the love that nurtures us to our maturity.
 God has a way of loving us that inspires us to completion. When I read the Isaiah 49:16, I know I am loved.
 See, I have engraved thee on the palm of My hand 

 As parents we would do what ever we need to do for our children. We would give our lives for our children, it's been shown over and over. But the question is - do you have the heart of your child? Our God in heaven took the time to make sure His children knew He loved them. He did it in many different ways. One way, as in our example, He engraved us on the palm of His hand, then showed it to us and made sure we knew it. I guess you could say He was using an object lesson. In some circles that might be considered a little over the top parenting. He gives us the example of abundant love. In His actions He is speaking to a type of soul that hears the devotion. With overt love it's easy to see that why the Lord God Almighty has the heart of His children - because we love Him so much.

I guess the way a child knows you love them is by the time you give them. If you have time for them, that speaks volumes. When God teaches us He takes a willing heart and speaks to it. God always has time for us.
Susannah Wesley was an interesting mother. She birthed19 children, I think 10 lived but she was a devoted mom and she deliberately took time with each child.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=feH&ei=fjzaSvibFsTh8AbixtS3BQ&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&ved=0CA4QBSgA&q=Susannah+wesley&spell=1

 I wish I had known years ago what I know now. And I also wish I would do a better job now then I actually do but everyday I will pray and ask the Lord to take my meager offerings and make them multiply. And every day I trust that He will do just that. I don't live afraid of Him, I live in joy of His presence, continuing to go back to Him because He is the way to life and it's a good life. The Lord gives us a great example on how to love our kids.

Ideas swirling around in my head

With a cup of tea on my table I wanted to share with you that sometimes I think the Lord puts ideas in my head. Round and around they go and I'm thinking this might be a good spot for them to land.
Mostly, it's the parenting ideas that I really want to express. I have two other blogs but those blogs are for fun, they are quite random and it's whatever is interesting me at the time that goes on there. I use them kind of like a journal for my wonderful family and friends that are so kind to actually read them.

My heart for parenting has been developing for years. My husband and I were blessed 30 years ago with our first child, Kimberly.
God bless the first born.
That they survive us parents is proof that kids are resilient. Of course, she was a baby genius. All first born are. We were amazed at her development. Her ability to understand what we were telling her. How well she recognized us. And she was so able to pay attention to her environment just being an infant. Any toy we bought or made for her was one for her development. Our home was centered around her and her needs. Our first born princess was just that ... royalty.
We did everything that was in our power to enable her to reach her full potential. We were very happy.

Since then we have been blessed with 3 other equally marvelous children - at birth all were born geniuses. Yes, what a delight. All four of our children have been the highlights of our life.

 I don't want to leave you with a false impression, our wonderful prodigy are actually regular folks. God bless us all.
Seeing how they were raised by two fallible parents and in each one of their souls is a condition called a sinful heart we learned that parenting is hard business. There is a lot of mental, emotional and spiritual work done every single day.

We have learned that it's only the power of wisdom of our Dear Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that leads us through the long journey. I love the Bible verse that talks about love covering a multitude of sin. Don and I made many, many mistakes. We had (have) our own sinful nature to resist and deny. That sinful nature that produces selfishness, pride and sorrow.

The good news is our children survived us. We are a close family, we all love the Lord and something that blesses our heart greatly is that our two married daughters and their husbands are teaching their children about the love of Jesus.
The cycle continues. I pray that this blog will assist them or anyone that might benefit from our mistakes by learning about them and how to avoid them!

Those are the thoughts that go around in my head. Dealing with the different aspects of living every day. Trying, with the direction of God and through His blessed Holy Spirit to train up the children in the way they should go. And of course hind sight is 20/20 so let me share with you some ideas that might make your life a little easier and in the end bless your family.