From a Mother's Heart

Sons whom I love,
Please pay attention to what I am going to say to you.

Our lives are a journey.
We are going to get from point A to point B one way or another.
We all are born, live out our days and die. Those are facts.
How we get from point A to point B is made up of a lot of little steps.

The choices we make today affect our tomorrow. You have heard that a million times.

No one knows all the answers, there is no set path.

The Lord has equipped those who trust in Him with a resource, it is wisdom.
The first sign of wisdom is actually seeking it out.

The opposite of wisdom is foolishness. Not seeking out wisdom is the way of foolishness.
You know the consequences of the foolish, you read about it in Proverbs.

You two have been blessed to live in the United States and have a lot of freedom.
Your lives are not set in stone, your days are open and you have the freedom to choose what you want to do with your allotted days.
You will go from day to day, living out your journey, one way or another.

You can go with wisdom or you can go with foolishness, but you will go.

Your actions will show which path you choose, wisdom or foolishness.

Read Proverbs 4. Solomon is talking about his time as a young man. He is referring to his instruction from King David.
Put your name in there as the son because our Eternal Holy Father is instructing to you two, His sons.

Read it.

I am going to ask you your thoughts on it. But, please don’t tell me what I want to hear cause there is no value in that. Rather, tell me what your response is truly.

This note applies to every decision you make between now and the time you stand before our Creator. The time you get to point B.

I love you and I am saying these to you as a mother and as a fellow journeyman.
I will respect your decisions .. no matter what they are casue they are yours to make.

I will always be by your side as far as the Lord allows.

My intent is not to control your life but to point you to the Lord and His wisdom so that you can have the tools you need to have a successful journey.

This journey you are going to be making, one way or another.

With all the love I have in my heart ..
Wonderful mother ..♥ ..

From a Heart of Love

Dear son whom I love,

Please pay attention to what I am going to say to you.

Our lives are a journey.  We are going to get from point A to point B one way or another.

We all are born, live out our days and die. Those are facts.

How we get from point A to point B is made up of a lot of little steps.

The choices we make today effect our tomorrow.  You have heard that a million times.

No one knows all the answers, there is no set path.

The Lord has equipped those who trust in Him with a resource, it is wisdom.

The first sign of wisdom is actually seeking it out.

The opposite of wisdom is foolishness. Not seeking out wisdom is the way of foolishness.

You know the consequences of the foolish, you read about it in Proverbs.

You have been blessed to live in the United States and have a lot of freedom.

Your lives are not set in stone, your days are open and you have the freedom to choose what you want to do with your allotted days.

You will go from day to day, living out your journey, one way or another.

You can go with wisdom or you can go with foolishness, but you will go.

Your actions will show which path you choose, wisdom or foolishness.

Read Proverbs 4. 

Solomon is talking about his time as a young man. He is referring to his instruction from King David.

Put your name in there as the son because our Eternal Holy Father is instructing to you, His son.

Read it.

I am going to ask you your thoughts on it. But, please don’t tell me what I want to hear cause there is no value in that. Rather, tell me what your response is truly.

This note applies to every decision you make between now and the time you stand before our Creator. The time you get to point B.

I love you and I am saying these to you as a mother and as a fellow journeyman.

I will respect your decisions .. no matter what they are casue they are yours to make.

I will always be by your side as far as the Lord allows.

My intent is not to control your life but to point you to the Lord and His wisdom so that you can have the tools you need to have a successful journey.  

This journey you are going to be making, one way or another.

With all the love I have in my heart ..

Wonderful mother 

100 and 1 different ways to confuse parents

The only right way to parent is ... fill in the blank. How many of us have read books that tell us "This is the way, go ye in it" ? "This particular truth, or anyone that is popular on the bookshelf, is what you need to get your kids in line and have a happy family."

People quote Bible verses to prove their points. Spare the rod, spoil the child or just love the child, speak to the child's heart. Sometimes the parenting methods are quite polar but I wonder.. If we go back to the source of these ideas, the Word of God what would He tell us?

I recently received an email telling me of the error parents have been known to make by following "this particular form of parenting". It inspired me to prayer. Dear Lord, what does Your Word tell us?

Once again I love God's Word. Jesus shows us the way. Jesus sums it all up in

"Love the Lord you God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind and your neighbor as yourself".   Luke 10:27

I like that because it's simple and to the point. As we parent we are to love the Lord. He is to be the center. It's not one parenting style over another. It's not child centered vs. parent centered - it's God centered.

As we have God as the center then everything comes into place. When we as parents are God centered then we are not relying on ourselves to be super parents, instead we realize that we all are a work in progress.

With God as the center when we approach our parenting or other family relationships we will recognize that it's not about us. It's not about behaviors or who is right or wrong but about God and what He calls us to, because He's the one at the center. Imagine if our families lived with God's heart at its center? What kind of family would that be?  

It would have to start with mom and dad and their walk with God. Is He the center of our thinking? Are God's plans our plans or do we have our own, separate from God.. Praying He will bless our endeavors?

When our child is in need of discipline what is the intent of our actions? 

Control or discipleship?

With God at the center, our hope is to lead that child to God.

Our goal isn't merely obedience but rather a heart for God - because as God is the center of our family we have love, direction and purpose.  

We can't mandate a person’s heart, that is a person’s personal choice. We can demand obedience to external behaviors but what goes on in the heart of the child, or any family member, they will decide.

How does God parent us? We know He loves us and we know He disciplines us, but as He does love and discipline us, He respects our personal choices. He allows us the freedom to choose this day whom we will serve.

Our hope as parents is to guide the children to serving the Lord - not us.

He tells us the standard, He tells us what is right. He also tells us through His Word what will happen if we choose to disobey. He's not angry, He's in charge.

Daily He walks with us, in love, telling us which way to go. Daily we choose if we will obey Him or ignore Him and do things our own way. Daily we live with the consequences we have earned.

As parents, we walk beside our child, in love, telling them which way to go. Daily they will earn the consequences of their actions.

It's the heart of the parent, like that of God, which is impacting the child. We have trust in God, we know He loves us and will be there for us. God has shown Himself to be faithful time and time again. He is love ..

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

As parents we don't need to be the center, things don't need to go our way. It's not about us. God is the center, things go His way.

We have a little book about Eustace and Prunella, bad little mice that are selfish and disobedient.  At dinner the father is angry at their behavior and sends them to their room. They needed discipline. At that point the parent mice were right that the mice desperately needed discipline, but the parents did not show God as the center of their priorities, they showed the behavior as the center. The children were misbehaving, acting badly. But what was really happening is that the children were putting themselves before God and His desires. As a God centered home they would have been shown that they are wrong and sinning against God by being selfish as they were disrupting the dinner. They were in need of repentance.

At that point the little mice could have chosen to do right or continue to do wrong enduring the consequences but with the realization that they were not going against dad but instead God.

 Because God's thoughts and God's design are at the center of what we do.

As God parents us He's not mad, he's not aggravated He's in control. He loves us. He knows the right from the wrong.  He directs us onto paths of righteousness. We too can parent like God, not mad, not aggravated but in control knowing what it right and what is wrong, walking in love. Knowing what the consequences of our child's choices are. The consequences which will result from the condition of their hearts. As we disciple them along the way we can teach them that the choices they are making are telling about them about the condition of their heart.

In order to direct our children on the path of righteousness we too need to be walking on that path. In order to point our children to God we ourselves need to point our lives in the direction of God. We need to be sensitive to the Lord's discipline, repenting of our own selfishness and pride.

If we are not doing that then we will lose credibility when we speak to our children about living for God.

Then our children will just disregard our parenting because it will have no authority.

We don't want the latest, greatest type of parenting style. We want God centered parenting. As we love God and follow Him we will reflect Him in our parenting. To measure your heart towards your parenting or any family relationship compare it to what Jesus shows us .. love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. As we keep those virtues ahead of us as the Lord has directed then we will follow Him and He will lead us down the best path. 

And on a side note in case you needed some ideas for creative consequences "to help the child learn" here is one to get you started.  

Where Are The Boundries?

 

What do you see in this picture? I see lots of love, two little children between a devoted mom and dad. The mom and dad are tenderly holding their childrens hands, I would imagine that this is a happy day.  As a family they are looking out at the ocean. That was one moment in time. Captured by a camera. 

If we were to ask the mom and dad about the day their children were born they would probably tell you that it was an exceptional day. One they had been waiting for and dreaming about all their lives. Since this is just our imagination, I will decide the day of the childrens birth, and that it was full of joy and thanksgiving. 

Each child is an addition to a family. 

The family started with the mom and dad when they got married. 

The parents joyfully accepted and included this new person into their family. 

But that devoted mom and dad in the picture came from two other people. 

(four actaully but I don't want to get to confusing)

Two people who had their joyful day of celebrating the birth of their child into their lives many years ago.

These parents of the mom and dad in the picture had dreamed about the birth of their child all their life and finally, with great hopes and dreams they were blessed with the child that they added to their married selves. 

That child grew up and got married and is now represented in the picture as the devoted parent.

Each couple has dreams and hopes. We put our selves aside and love our spouses and our children. We devote our lives to our family. 

It's part of our identity, it's part of who we are. 

The parent's that hold that dear baby in their arms have committed their hearts to him or her. They have opened themselves up to a lifelong relationship.

Where does family begin and where does it end? 

In our culture today we get a lot of mixed signals. The freedom of expression we enjoy lacks the boundaries and traditions that kept us in familiar territory. It was there within those boundaries that everyone knew what was expected and how to do it. Now it seems each person has to make up their own set of rules and boundaries. 

The question of what is right and what is wrong gets skewed from situation to situation because it becomes "you do what is right for you and I will do what is right for me" 

Seems like that should be a simple solution. Sounds perfectly reasonable.

But it's not, within that process there comes difficulty.  

It's in that confusion that family trouble starts. How many of us have had heartbreak with our family? 

That devoted mom and dad in the picture, which had separated themselves from their parents -

(The parents that had bore them and joined them to their new 

family many years ago)

 are now trying to figure out what is right for them and their family. 

In the years to come that devoted mom and dad in the picture will be figuring out how to adjust their hearts to the new position of their children becoming adults and creating their own family circle. Separate from them. 

  How do we know where to draw the line? How do we know how to live and adjust ourselves to all the changes?

How are we a mother, daughter, wife, daughter in law and a sister with out hurting others as we try to live our lives and still do what is right?

That is the question I have been wrestling with. I have been on all sides of that question. I have been the daughter, the wife, the daughter in law, the sister and mother in law. I have stumbled my way through. I read articles in magazines, I have read a ton of books on family, I love to read blogs and I have listened to folks talk about their experiences. 

Most importantly I pray. I ask the God of the universe to show me what is right. And not surprisingly He knows the right way. 

Our Great God - so wise and loving has an answer for me. I will give it to you. 

In all relationships

this applies:

Romans 12   

(here is all of Romans 12)

A short portion of Romans 12

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Imagine if we approach every family relationship with that in mind. Our families would be a safe harbor for ourselves and those the Lord brings into our lives. The lines of right and wrong are drawn out and we know what is expected of us.

It's accomplished as we relinquish our rights and submit to the Lord. As long as we are contending for ourselves and what we should be getting we will live in confusion. As soon as we submit to the Word of God given to us through Paul then we will have that kind of victory in our lives.

It's simple. Not easy. 

I am glad the Lord has shown me that. I have a lot of work to do. It will be by His Grace and His Holy Spirit if I am able to accomplish it. But like it says I will rejoice in hope. In the hope that I will be able to love as the Lord calls me to. 

It's a pleasant moment ... your child is across the room, you catch his eye, you squat, lovingly call his name, you open your arms to your child inviting him to a big hug ... how does he respond?

You've just gotten a snapshot of the heart of your child towards you.

The Bible gives us the perfect picture of a loving Shepherd and the sheep that trust Him. John 10


Truly, I tell all of you with certainty, the person who does not enter the sheepfold through the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a bandit. The one who enters through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. It is to him the gatekeeper opens the gate, and it is his voice the sheep hear. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has driven out all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they recognize his voice. They will never follow a stranger, but will run away from him because they do not recognize the voice of strangers,
I am the good Shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep... I am the good shepherd, I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep.

Parents are like the shepherd our children are like the sheep.
We want our children to love and trust us like the sheep trust the shepherd.
The gatekeeper opens the gate only to the trusted shepherd.
In a way our children's spirit is like the gatekeeper, they will only open their hearts or the gate to the trusted shepherd. They open their hearts to us when it is safe for them to do so.
Each child is different but the Word of God gives us a good basis for knowing how to reach a child's heart. It's by the fruit of His Holy Spirit that we are able to speak so the child will listen.
Watch and listen to your interactions with your child. Are your words and actions full of

love,         joy,       peace,    patience,

kindness,       goodness,

faithfulness,          gentleness    and   self control

The Shepherd is our shepherd that leads us too, you and I. He is so kind to us. It's the Shepherd's voice that we want to listen for. We can know if it's the Shepherd calling us by what we hear Him saying. Words like:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13

When we hear a voice calling to us, be it from our own minds or books we read or advice from others measure it against those words from God and you will be able to discern the bad shepherd from the Good Shepherd. 

As a parent speaks the Words that the Shepherd speaks that's when our children will open themselves up and trust our voice and follow us. Then as a parent we will be a good shepherd, we will lay down our lives for our sheep and they will follow us.

Leave and Cleave

I am wondering what it means to leave and cleave. I have been on both sides of the experience now. I was once a young bride leaving and cleaving to my husband and now a mother of married daughters.

Interesting situation. I did a little studying on it. I went on line, Googled “leave and cleave” and I got quite a few sites that were trying to tell me what it was.

I went to the original Bible verse in Hebrew, looked up all the words through the Strong’s concordance and the American Standard Version was true to the Hebrew.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

I did further study about the words leave and cleave.

Leave means:  In the Hebrew is the word azab which means to commit self - also leave, forsake, loose.

In that passage the man is directed to leave, forsake, loose his father and his mother.

Cleave means: In Hebrew is dabaq which means to cleave - To cling, cleave, keep close.

The man is to cling, cleave and keep close to his wife.

God is so good that when He gives us instruction He also gives many explanations and pictures of what it looks like. There are several marriages in the Bible; the healthy ones seem to have the husband in the role of the leader and the wife as the helpmate. They are a picture of leaving and cleaving. The husband has drawn his wife to him and loves and protects her.

I love the Bible because in it the Lord gives us the words to life. He has made a map for us to follow. His Words are a light for our feet.

In the New Testament the LORD talks to us through Paul when He explains about how we are to live our lives. We have been given a structure in Genesis – a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh – and then we are given how we are to live it out in real life. By the power of the Holy Spirit we are to approach each situation with love as the end result.

As a young man, God directs him to leave and cleave and we learn that he is to do that with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. As the head of a new family he is to lead, step out, and direct those in his new family in a manner reflecting what the Lord has called him too, love.

It's a big role for the young man and hopefully those parents he's leaving will be his biggest cheerleaders pointing him to Godliness and righteousness, praying for him daily. Supporting him in his new role and responsibility.

In summary, the command to leave and cleave is given to the husband. He is to leave his family and cling to his wife. By the power of the Holy Spirit he is to lead his family in Godliness which is love.

A House in Order

I have been blessed to hear many amazing conference speakers at the North Carolina Home School conferences. Funny thing is, many of them are not talking about practical homeschooling methods but rather family discipleship. We have been learning about the power of God's Word and when we look at it from a family discipleship perspective His Word is RICH with wisdom and practical life skills. So, it is definitely "homeschooling" The messages I have received have been life changing. I only wish I had know this 30 years ago but I have peace in that the God of grace is so good that as he heals the blind, saves the wretched He covers us with His love and provision.

Here is a speaker we have heard and admired. His name is Voddie Baucham, he is a straight shooter that calls out to families all across the world to be strengthened by God's worldview rather then the politically correct, popular ideas of our current culture.